I SAW FRANK TYSON

Yesterday, I happened to be at a Carol Service somewhere in Lagos and one of the invited guests was Frank Tyson/Edohor/Peters. If you still don't know him, he is the popular host of "Who wants to be a Pugilist?". My bad. I meant "Who wants to be a millionaire?"
As you may/may not know, the press seems to think that Frank engages in amateur boxing in the confines of his home. He is often said to use his wife as a sparring partner . Further details can be got here

http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2007/11/katherine-edohos-interview.html

Anyway, he was at the Carol service to talk about what Christmas meant to him. Before he proceeded to deliver his treatise, he introduced his wife as the reason behind his success. He went on about her for a few minutes before veering off into the main business of the night.
Well, if Frank is trying to do damage limitation, he has a long way to go. There are over 10,000 churches in Lagos. I think he still has about 9999 churches to visit.

Cry My Beloved Country I

Gentle bobo ni mi, Emi ki se fighter, keni keni ma ti mi lo sibija (Queen Salawa Abeni).
I am a Gentle guy and not a fighter, I don't want to be pushed into a fight.

In case you didn't notice, I haven't blogged in the last 2 weeks. This has not been due to writer's block. It has also not been due to a lack of inspiration. The problem has been due to the multiplicity of ideas in my head. I've been so mad at so many things in the last 2 weeks that I've been trying to conjure up an article that could address all the issues at once. The moment I decide to write about one issue, another one comes up with a deafening sound. At first I started thinking about writing about my experiences in Lagos Large Capacity Buses (Molue). This was to serve as a parallel to my Airplane experiences. Somewhere along the way, the issue of Nigeria's failed bid to host the Commonwealth game came up. Nigeria eventually lost the hosting rights for the Commonwealth games to the city of Glasgow, Scotland. Before I could put up a post about this, another political issue caught my attention. The Sun Newspaper carried an article detailing how much Nigeria lost from import waivers granted to Obasanjo's cronies during the Obasanjo era (1999-2007). Some of those that benefitted from the Import-waiver largesse include Dangote Holdings, Cosharis e.t.c The shocking part was that a major Pentecostal church in Nigeria was included in the list. This church was said to have imported a vast amount of building materials for the purpose of building a University. The church was able to import these materials at no cost because of its close connections with the Presidency. Nigeria lost millions of Naira because a Church decided partake in this ignoble deed. I was lost for words. As usual, the mainstream media did not make a meal of this News story. It was relegated to the background. Before I could pick up my Pen (rather my keyboard), News filtered into my ears that Richard had won Big Brother Africa. Ofunneka - the Nigerian representative had come in second. Tatiana had taken third postion. Nothing baffled me much more than the fact that a rapist and an adulterer was voted for by "all of Africa". I know some would say I have no right to judge. After all, we all are thieves. Okay, I am a thief, the day you catch me I will "have no mouth to talk". But, till then, i will continue to talk. I have decided to attack all these issues one after the other. I have chosen to put them under the umbrella of "Cry, My beloved Country". This is taken from "Cry the Beloved Country" written by a South African Author named Alan Paton

Big Brother Africa is a reality TV Show that features housemates living together in a house under stringent conditions for a period of time. The theme "Big Brother" was taken from George Orwell's book - 1984. The first Big Brother show was held in Holland in September 1999 and it was produced by Endemol Productions. The Big Brother show has been exported into at least 70 countries. The success of the show has been due to the fact that it has been adapted to fit in with realities in various countries in which it is being produced. In the UK, it is known as Celebrity Big Brother. Big Brother UK features celebrities alongside with wannabe celebrities.
The first Big Brother on the continent of Africa was held in 2002 . The first Big Brother was plagued by some many problems. Some of these problems included lack of sponsorship and poor viewership. The Big Brother house even suffered a break in. Some members of the public decided to see for themselves what was going on in the Big Brother house In 2003, the first Big Brother Africa was held in the month of May. It was a bold move by Endemol South Africa and Mnet Productions. 12 housemates from different African countries were camped together in a house. Bayo Okon flew Nigeria's flag in the first edition of Big Brother Africa. He went in with a lot of hope. He came out of the house with a lot of promise. He had his 15 minutess of fame. The rest, as they say , is history. Bayo Okon is right now as popular as he was before he ventured into the Big brother house. For various reasons, Mnet decided to invest in Project Fame as its reality show in 2004. It was a programme which was supposed to launch an African music star into limelight. Dare Art Alade flew Nigeria's flag in the Project Fame show. He came out in third position. He was given a record contract as compensation. I will not even bother to name the lady who won the show because I assume if she had received what she was promised by the Organisers, she would need no introduction. Dare was promised a recording contract with Sony music. Maybe they meant, they would give him a Sony Music deck. The rest as they say is history. Dare is now a contractor in the city of Abuja.

In 2005, Mnet and Endemol in conjunction with Storm Vision produced Big Brother Nigeria. The show was hyped as being the one that would put Nigeria on the map of the world. After all, we had all sworn that such a show could not possibly be held in Nigeria due to Nigeria's lack of adequate infrastructure. Against all odds, they pulled off the show. By Nigerian standards, it was a huge success. But shortly after the show, a lot of facts began to unravel. Allegations started flying around that Endemol and Mnet had packed away all the money they made from Sponsorship and text messages to South Africa. A small pittance was given to Storm Vision as compensation. Storm Vision had a backup plan in case Endemol/ Mnet were going to pull such stunts. They brought in Katung whose father worked in the Presidency alongside the mother of the MD of Storm records. Katung also happened to be a Presenter in Cool FM Abuja. Olisa Adibua (Cool FM Lagos), stakeholder in Storm Records was a presenter on the show. The rest as they say is history. Katung, their friend took home the $100,000 in prize money. The last place Katung was seen was on a Billboard advertising Harp Lager Beer.

Endemol and Mnet Productions were not done with the Big Brother Africa phenomenon. They decided to host Big Brother Africa II in South Africa. Ofunneka was chosen as Nigeria's representative on the show. Richard was chosen as Tanzania's representative. During the course of the show, Richard was able to prove that marriage is no barrier to having fun. Tatiana and Richard kept themselves from the evil effects of loneliness. A task was given by Big Brother which involved lots of Alcohol. There was uncontrolled downing of spirits. The spirits then sprung into life. Richard jumped into action and sexually assaulted Ofunneka. I would not bore you with the details. You can find such details at these sites.
www.fiyanda.blogspot.com/2007/11/big-no-no.html
www.lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2007/11/big-brother-scandal.html

For those of you, that need me to spell it out, Richard fingered Ofunneka relentlessly. This led to a volcano of reactions all across Africa. Some viewers insisted that what Richard did constituted an act of Rape. Mnet and Endemol had to do damage control by yanking off all discussions that had to do with this on the Big Brother Africa discussion board. Text messages pertaining to the rape incident were not allowed to reach the screen. Due to the Outcry, Mnet decided to invite a couple of South African NGOs to view the footage of the show. Mnet's official line was that "whatever happened between Ofunneka and Richard was consensual". After viewing the tapes, the South African groups agreed with Mnet that Ofunneka was a willing participant in the sexual assault. The rest as they say is history. Richard won the second edition of Big Brother Africa.
I have tried to look at these incidents dispassionately but I have failed in this task. My blood boils when I think of the fact that my fellow Nigerian was raped on prime time TV and some media goons are trying to hoodwink me. Some have insinuated, "She asked for it, Why did she take so much alcohol and lose control of her senses"? My answer to that is this - Everyone has a right to do whatever (s)he wants to do with him/herself. Ofunneka's lack of sobriety was not an open invitation for a sexual predator like Richard to take advantage of. According to regular viewers of the BBA show, Ofunneka had never shown any affinity towards Richard. The question which needs an answer is - Why would she suddenly fall in love with Richard to the extent that she would allow him to touch her in the nether regions (Ó Funmi Iyanda) . Some other questions need to be asked - Who are the South African NGOs that were allowed to view the tape? What did they see? Where are the Nigerian NGOs? So many self-seeking, undercover frauds parade themselves across the Nigerian landscape as NGOs. Their favorite song line is the eradication of HIV/AIDS. Foreign Funds have been sought and received under the guise of this impossible task. The Nigerian NGOs that would show up in large proportions whenever an International conference is to be held in Nigeria are nowhere to be found. Ofunneka has no one to defend her cause.
My mind goes back to the Project fame incident of 2004. Dare was asked a question by one of the participants on the show. He was asked "What would you get my 10 year old cousin who is having her birthday soon"? Dare jokingly replied - I will get her pregnant. All hell was let loose. Sponsors threatened to pull out of the show. South African Women rights groups called for the show to be cancelled. Dare was put on eviction for the first time in the duration of the programme. He had to tender an open apology to the whole of Africa for making a statement. South Africa was very sensitive about the issue of rape , therefore they took Dare's statement seriously. So what has changed in 2007? A Nigerian made a statement in 2004 and all hell broke loose while a Nigerian was raped on TV in 2007 and it was termed 'consensual'. After the show, Richard was asked about the incident and he replied "Well,This is Africa". I want him to know that this is not the Africa that Foday Sankara, Patrice Lumumba, Kwame Nkrumah and Obafemi Awolowo fought for. Your Africa is not my Africa. The last straw that broke the camel's back for me was when the House of Reps Committe on Media invited the Nigerian Broadcast Commission to explain the actions they took to sanction Multichoice for violating its broadcast provisions. NBC officials told the House of reps committee that they had warned Multichoice twice during the duration of the programme, but Multichoice did not heed their warnings. You can imagine the Inspector General of Police being asked to explain the high crime rate in the country and he replies - I have warned these robbers but they have refused to listen. The House of Reps thus banned the showing of any clips of the BBA programme in Nigeria. However I tuned in to Galaxy television on Saturday and saw highlights of the show being run on air.
Meanwhile, Mnet/ Endemol have kept Ofunneka in South Africa. They are still thinking of how they'll arrange a hero's welcome for her in Nigeria. No matter how long she stays in South Africa, she cannot hide from the truth. A regular viewer of the BBA programme informed me of how she broke down in tears when she recounted the horrible experience that she had with her former boyfriend. She had moved in with him and given her all to the relationship but that was not enough to keep the guy. If she could break down in tears on Primetime TV because of this, I wonder what would happen when she comes home to confront the truth of what happened to her in South Africa.
But then, do I blame the South African companies who are only interested in making profit? Maybe if the House of Reps had not been engulfed with the Etteh scandal, they could have nipped the BBA scourge in the bud. Maybe if Nigeria had good leadership, we would be able to lay down the law with respect to foreign media. Maybe, Just maybe . I am so mad, right now, I can't type further

N.B: This article was written before Ofunneka was welcomed into the country

AIRPORTS AND OTHER STORIES II

I will have to confess that this scene was not witnessed by me. A friend who claimed to have been there when it happened recounted it to me. A certain Baba Dauda got to the airport with his son - Dauda who was on his way abroad for further studies. Baba Dauda was a man of many parts - A husband of 3 wives, a landlord and the Chairman of the Neighborhood association. He was a man with many enemies –real and imagined.
As some of us may know, the departure lounge of the MMIA has a motion sensitive door. This is a sliding glass door that moves on sensing motion around it. So, here goes Baba Dauda who sees a closed glass door in front of him. As he approaches the door, he looks around wondering how everybody got inside. As he steps further, the door suddenly opens. Baba Dauda jumps back in amazement, pulling his son Dauda with him. The door closes again. Both of them gently tiptoe towards the shut door. On getting near the door, it slides open again. Immediately, Baba Dauda shouts aloud " Kamoru, Kamoru, Mo ti rise owo e, Ona ti o fe gba yo si mi leleyii abi, Iro lo pa, O ri wipe omo mi fe sosire, o wa gbelekun awon aye siwaju mi, o n ti on pade bo se wu e, Iro lo pa, Mo ma wonue bi awon agba sen wole awo". (Kamoru, I have seen your work. So, this is how you want to attack me, You have placed an evil door that you close and open at will in front of me. Your plans have failed. I will enter this door like we enter into the coven)
Suddenly, Baba Dauda motioned to his son to be silent. He turned his back to the door. He began backtracking towards the door in a form similar to Michael Jackson's moonwalker dance step. He entered the airport in reverse.
At that point in time, Nepa struck and electricity was cut off. The door stayed ajar. He then called out to Dauda, "Mo ti ba ogun wo je , Wole wa, ile baba re lo wa"(I have destroyed their plans, Enter into your father’s house). Thus, Dauda and his father made their way into the airport

The other incident is one I witnessed in May 2007. I was at the Benin airport preparing to come back to Lagos. The weather was not so favorable so there was a 3hour delay on flights. I'm not known to be one who gives in easily to emotions. However, I saw a sight that could make a grown man cry. A family walked into the airport - A father, mother and 3 children. What made them the cynosure of all eyes was the condition of the children. They had 3 kids who were aged about 5,6 and 8. One of the kids was on a wheel chair, the other was on crutches while the third was being carried on the shoulder of the mother. If my memory serves me well, they were 2 boys and 1 girl. This was not a family on a mission to receive alms. This was rather a middle class family taking a flight to Lagos. For a moment, there was pin-drop silence in the airport. Everyone watched with bated breath as they sauntered to a vacant seat. Observing the scene before me, my analytical mind kicked into action. What led to this? My mind told me, the kids were most likely involved in a car accident. It could have been anywhere. My mind went to the Benin-Lagos road. Back then, the Benin-Lagos expressway was in such a condition that it took up to 9 hours to complete a journey from Benin to Lagos. It could also have been a drunk driver somewhere who ran into their car. Whatever it was, these kids had been put into a situation which was not of their own making. As I was ruminating, some passengers in the airport stood up to go and meet the family. Some hugged the kids, others just held them and talked to them. Maybe, in a way, they thought of the Nigerian condition and how uneasy the future looked for these kids.
They say there are 2 things you can't change about you - The family into which you are born and the Country into which you are born. I'm sure that if those kids had been allowed to choose , they would not have chosen Nigeria as a country of birth

AIRPORTS AND OTHER STORIES I

The nature of my job involves a lot of traveling. I'm usually out of Lagos at least once in a month. Most of these journeys are made by air. In the last 6 months, I have been able to visit all the airports in the East - Benin, Owerri, Enugu, PH (NAF Base).

It is said that the airport is the easiest place to meet up with executives that you would not ordinarily have access to. You get to queue up with them, rub shoulders with them, even sit down beside them and strike up conversations with them. These "big men" would regard the fact that you are on their flight as a sign that you have achieved some form of personal success. A list of some of the "popular folks " I've flown with would include - Olisa Agbakoba,Senators Olorunnimbe Mamora and Ganiyu Solomon, Alhaji Arisekola Alao, Tunji Otegbeye, Sunny Nneji, Jumobi (RMD), Wild Child and Ibinabo Fiberesima

Air travel is regarded as the exclusive preserve of the rich in this country. It is supposed to confer an air of superiority on those who can afford it. It sets you apart from the rest of 'them' who only make do with seeing planes while they are in the skies. The ambience of the Airport Arrival and Departure lounges usually sets the stage for the 'Airport Mentality'. The scene begins as you alight from your vehicle, get your luggage from your boot and trolley your load into the departure lounge. Looking around serves as a form of education for the uninitiated. A quick walk into the departure section for the foreign airlines would reveal various innate characteristics of Nigerians. You get to see the community members who have put together money to send their beloved son for further studies abroad. This set of people can easily be identified by the large display of ethnic attires and endless torrent of prayers and advice for the (un)fortunate traveler. Another set you would see is that of young boys and girls who have come to see off their 'homeboy' whom the Gods have blessed with a visiting visa to some foreign country. This homeboy has probably been on the visa application thing for ages. He has tried under various guises - student, refugee, visitor, at last, an act of omission or commission at the foreign embassy leads to him getting a Visa. Another set could be that of the boyfriend who is going on a foreign trip escorted hand in hand by his girlfriend. They look like a scene out of a romantic movie as they push the trolley slowly on the check in queue.
A common denominator in all these groups is the penchant for individuals to respond to phone calls with "I'm at the International Airport/ Mo wa ni Airport bayii" as a replacement for the "Hello" Word.
A comedian once said the place you can see Nigerians put up their best behavior is at a Foreign embassy in Nigeria and on arrival at a Foreign Airport. These are places where you can give the Nigerian a good slap and he would delightfully turn the other cheek.
I have had various interesting flight experiences that I would like to share.

Something I've noticed about Nigerians on local flights is their penchant for sharing their experiences on foreign flights and comparing both of them. I was once on an Arik Air flight to Benin that was as turbulent as it could be. On that particular day, Arik Air was the only airline that operated from the Domestic Airport. Other airlines cancelled their flights. The Lagos - Benin flight usually takes 25mins, however we were onboard this flight for almost an hour. Terrible rain and lightning made us stay onboard the aircraft for about an hour before the plane could take off. During this period, the pilot was busy turning the plane around and "searching for network". At this stage, I was extremely disturbed. We later took off and headed towards Benin. On approaching the Benin Airport, all the elements of the weather came out in their full glory. The plane ride suddenly became as smooth as a bus ride on Ikotun-Ijegun road. The flight pattern changed to that of a sinusoidal wave. In the midst of the turbulence, some Tokunbo Nigerian behind me was running commentaries on how his flights from Texas to wherever were often bumpy. He kept yapping about how his flight from Madrid to wherever was also rough. Meanwhile, I was in front of him confessing all my wrongdoings from my time to the time of my great-grandfathers. The guy kept blabbing. The next thing was that the pilot announced that he had tried to land but couldn't see the runway and he would make another attempt. he also mentioned that in the event that his second attempt at landing was unsuccessful, we would return to Lagos. I was already shouting in my mind - My guy bone this thing, make we go back. I discovered at this point that Mr. Texas/Madrid behind me had gone quiet. I think he realised that heaven did not discriminate in its admission list. Your chances of surviving a plane crash have nothing to do with the extent of your travels. I almost lost hope when the chap beside me started singing hymns. We landed safely.

Something else I usually notice at the airports is the way rich/elite mothers and their kids relate. It is becoming commonplace to see Middle aged women, hippily dressed with low-neckline blouses revealing cleavages (better still remains of cleavages) strutting their stuff across the airport lounges. Not so far behind are their foreign looking kids who speak some gibberish that resembles the English language. The kids often come with exotic names like Isabella, Donatella, MichaelAngelo, Tarzan and Damendra. Imagine this conversation b/w the mother of such kids and her close family friend who she meets at the airport

Mother: Ah, Aunty Yetunde, E ka san , O to jo meta, Oju yin ree
Family Friend: Ijo kan pelu bawo ni
Mother: Hey, Kids , come and meet Aunty Yetty
Kids: Hi Aunty Yetty
Family Friend: Bawo ni o , Se dada lewa, Ah E ranti Aunty yi to n gbe ni Agege
kids: Mummy, Mummy, Where is Agaygay? Is Agaygay in Nigeria?
Mother: You know these kids, They really don't understand Yoruba, they only come
for vacation. Getting a Yoruba Teacher for them is so hard. All they know is
Cartoon Network
Family Friend: So what are your names?
Kids: My name is Tarzan, My name is Damendra
Family Friend: Iro Oruko Anjonu wo niyen, Jide and Dayo la ma pe awon omoyi keto ko won losi
America

...to be continued

IS SPEAKER ETTEH A PASTOR'S WIFE?

Little is known about the family history of the Embattled Speaker of the House of Representatives. She is largely known as Patricia Olubunmi Etteh - A hairdresser from Ikire who rose from humble beginnings to the enviable height of Nigeria's No. 4 citizen. Many people (especially Yorubas) wonder where she got the name 'Etteh" from. After all, the name does not exactly sound "Yorubaish". After doing some sleuthing, I discovered that her name Etteh is probably from the Etteh family of Etteh Aro and partners. Etteh Aro and partners is a reputable Construction Engineering Practise located in Bodija, Ibadan. The practise was set up by Engineer (Rev) Etteh and (Late) Engnr Arokodare. These names ring bells in the minds of those who grew up in Bodija and its environs. The Speaker's official history shows that she worked in this company in the early 70's. An unofficial account says she was married to Engnr. Etteh. This account also happens to be the most widely circulated.However, some extra research has thrown this assertion into doubt. You can read further by clicking on this link http://www.thisdayonline.com/archive/2003/01/11/20030111plu05.html

At the bottom of the above article, it is stated that "He (Engnr Etteh) is married to Elizabeth Ibia Etteh, they have a son, Akpanoluo and a daughter Nkaepe". Could Elizabeth Ibia Etteh and Patricia Olubunmi Etteh be the same person or are they different people? One of these 3 possibilities is true -

-She could have been married to Engnr Etteh before he met Elizabeth
-She could have been married to Engnr Etteh's relation
-She could actually be Engnr Etteh's present wife
This is quite an interesting scenario.

Could Patricia Olubunmi Etteh actually be a Pastor's Wife?

WHY TUFACE WAS ATTACKED

If love is a crime , I'm willing to be haunted ..... 2face Idibia (2006)


My mind goes back to the unfortunate incident that happened to our "world-famous artiste " - Innocent Idibia (2face) a couple of weeks ago. So many people have questioned the motive behind these attacks. Some have said it was some ex-cult members from his alma mater - IMT Makurdi, others have suggested it could be some of his rival singers. All the above reasons could be plausible, but as I sat to think deeply over the incident, I came to the conclusion that 2Baba was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
How I arrived at this was quite simple. 2Baba was allegedly attacked at the Popular Cele Busstop along Apapa- oshodi Expressway. Apapa- Oshodi expressway is one of the major routes in the Lagos Metropolis and could be second in importance only to the Ikorodu road. There are quite a number of busstops along the road going from Oshodi through Charity, Toyota, 5Star, Iyana Isolo, Hassan,Iyana Itire, Berliet, Cele, Agunlejika, Ijesha , Mile 2 e.t.c All the aforementioned are names anyone who lives along the Apapa- Oshodi route would know. For the purpose of this discourse we would focus on Cele bstop and the few b/stops preceding it.

I spent the earlier part of my stay in Lagos at Isolo, Okota which is generally accessible from Cele b/stop. I must have passed through the b/stop over 400 times. Cele busstop is a place I can make my way through blindfolded. The name "Cele" comes from a Celestial Church which is located across the road from the busstop. However, contrary to the meaning of the word Celestial, there is nothing divine or heavenly about this b/stop. It is a cesspit of dirt, crime and all-round the clock danger. The day usually starts in Cele bstop at about 5.am. with cops rounding off the overnight patrol, Island workers leaving home early in order to join a CMS bus, area boys arriving for their morning shot of Paraga(local gin) and conductors loitering around with chewing sticks in their mouths. At about 7 am, the petty traders resume for the day and start putting out their wares. The council officials resume on the Aguda side of the road to catch those who decide to cross the express road on foot instead of using the Pedestrian Bridge. Plain clothes policemen start stop and search duties looking for individuals with files and folders containing incriminating documents. Such incriminating documents could range from contract papers to Immigration documents. Any arrested individual is usually taken across to the Police station on the Aguda side of Cele Busstop. LASTMA officials resume their duty posts to start directing traffic coming from over 4 different directions at the same time

Cele b/stop is quite unique in its location. It serves as an opening to Okota, Isolo area on one side while it also opens up to Ijesha/lawanson Surulere. Just before getting to the Okota side of Celebustop, lies a Coca-Cola Mini-depot in the form of Container largely used for importation at the Dockyard. Behind this Coca-Cola container is a Large canal overlooked by a pentecostal church. This canal is usually the meeting/hiding place of criminal elements around Cele b/stop. Across the road on the Aguda side is a refuse dump and a minimarket bordering the expressway and Lawanson area. Hoodlums from Surulere and environs usually ,after a hard day's work saunter across the refuse dump to Cele busstop in search of prey. If you escape the Aguda boys on one side, you might come into touch with the Isolo/ ilasa boys on the other side. It could be noted at this point that any bstop in Lagos that has a pedestrian bridge is usually a black spot at night. Cele is no exception to this rule. Commercial busses coming from Oshodi and Airport road usually stop over at Cele bstop to drop/pick passengers. Incessant stopping of these buses coupled with vehicles coming in the opposite direction (popularly called One-way) leads to a traffic snarl for vehicles on the Isolo side of the road. Thus vehicles going from oshodi/ Airport road to Mile 2 could be caught up at Cele bustop for up to 30 mins.

At this point in the discourse, I would go back to the main actor in this film- 2face, Fresh from Yankee/Jand/ wherever he was said to have gone, he was picked up at the airport by his cousins / friends in a vehicle. Some of his associates spilled over into another vehicle. We can safely assume that this convoy made its way from MMIA through 7/8 Busstop, DHL,5Star, Ilasa, Itire and then had to stop in the Cele traffic. If we flash our minds back to the report of the encounter, it was said that a laptop on 2Baba's laps saved his loins from the effect of the bullets. He was said to have been listening to a demo CD on the laptop. Here was 2face and his gang , gisting and joking, talking about girls, music , weed and listening to a CD on his laptop. As they approached Cele, they got stuck in the usual traffic jam. The Aguda/ Isolo/Ilasa boys were perusing the traffic seeking whom to devour. They spotted a car with a couple of guys in which one of them had his laptop screen on. They conclude that these must be a couple of JJCs/ butties who would be easily scared at the sight of a pistol. On approaching 2Baba's car, they shockingly discover that these boys are not butties. Confronted with the sight of hardened Festac boys, they suddenly feel threatened and then let loose. The gun explodes, 2Baba and his crew try to escape while the bad boys disappear into the night. A pure water truck comes around later and helps convey the wounded to a hospital. The Medical Director of Cedar hospital, Festac is summoned to hear that 2Baba is around again. He exclaims "Na only 2face dey this country".

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think of this incident and I realise that it could have been worse. Sometime ago around this same Cele b/stop, a newly wedded couple were stopped on the way from their wedding reception . The bride and groom were made to lie down on the tarred road, while thieves made away with their SUV (jeep). Every other month, an armoured tank is placed at this same b/stop inorder to quell fights between rival factions of the NURTW (otherwise known as Agbero). During one of these fights, I counted nothing less than 80 Area boys armed with various weapons- Ake, UTC, Pana, Lebe e.t.c
Some hundreds of metres away at Iyana Isolo Bstop, The Thisday Columnist - Godwin Agbroko was shot dead in his vehicle.

Oshodi- Apapa expressway is a 20km road network that extends from Iyana Oworo to Apapa without a single street light on. It is indeed a long stretch of darkness. Do not be surprised that 2face was attacked. He is just a name in a long list of victims along that route. As for 2baba, since he has refused to relocate from Nigeria, he could consider moving to another part of Lagos such as Omole Estate. He would be in the good company of his musical peers such as Daddy Showkey, Passuma Wonder, Psquare and Femi Kuti. He could comfortably afford such a move. All the "keeping it real in the Festac hood" might not pay off at the end of the day.
For the rest of us (lesser mortals), the struggle continues
EBEANO

IBA

To all who have gone before us, we pay our maximum respect.
To all who are behind us, we greet
To all who walk with us, we salute
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